Category Archives: humor

There is room at the top

Yes, that’s right. There is room at the top. I can already sense the pushing and jostling. Not so fast! There are some basic requirements that are needed to get to the top of the pile. Getting those strutting rights which goes along with fancy titles and heavy designations is a lot of hard work. If you thought it was easy, think again. This article is going to give you the low down on how to make it to the top and stay there. So take a deep breath and read on…
Work the phone like crazy: This is by far the most fundamental requirement to get to the upper echelons of manaement. God forbid if a subordinate catches you either away from the computer screen or from the phone. If you have nothing to do, then for heaven’s sake call yourself and look busy listening to the engaged tone.

Responding to mails: Make sure that all responses to incoming mails get the same treatment. All responses should be terse and a cryptic one-liner. The one-liner should be addressed to no one in particular. And of course you don’t have the time to sign off with a “Cheers, Regards etc”. To add to the effect make sure that all mails include a line which says”Sent from blackberry or iPad etc”.

The “Glazed Look”: This is one particular trait that requires years of practice. There are only a few who have managed to get into the “Glazed look Hall of Fame”. A little explanation is required here. The key is whenever a sub-ordinate is discussing anything, which any way you don’t understand, make sure you occasionally nod your head. Then suddenly you should get a “glazed, faraway look” mid-conversation. The important thing is that the subordinate should surprised by “the look”. In all probability the subordinate will assume that he had said something really clever and you were set off in deep thought. Alternatively he may be impressed at you being capable of running parallel streams of thoughts in your head.Either way you win.

Rushing off to nowhere in a hurry: Basic rule, always look busy. Make sure you dash in and out of your room in regular intervals. In fact you should leave behind a puff of smoke. That’s how fast you should get to be.

Walk out of meetings talking on the phone: It is your prerogative to walk in and out of meetings. Make sure that you crease your brow, look sharp etc. After all you are negotiating with kidnappers to part with a million dollars.

Make calls late at night & on weekends: Make sure to occasionally call your colleagues and subordinates late at night and on weekends. Make sure you send the message that you are always busy.

All the points mentioned above require a lot of hard work, grit and determination. Make sure that you work at it. You will need it when you get to the top.