Category Archives: confidence

Beware the illusory ego

We view ourselves and the world through our ego. The dictionary states that the ‘ego’ is one’s image of oneself. This ego, in my opinion, is like a shape-changing lens through which we view ourselves and the world. So the image that we see through this lens depends on the current shape this lens has. Let me elaborate on this a little further.

Low self-esteem: There are times in our lives when nothing seems to go right. At these times we feel small and useless. We simply can’t seem to get anything right. In our minds we are ‘losers’ and really no good. Our self esteem is at its lowest and we are blaming ourselves for everything. Everybody, other than us, seems to be superior and very proficient. The lens simply shrinks the image we have of ourself. During these times, some people beat themselves for every mistake they commit during this period.

Feelings of grandeur: We also have times when we feel that nothing can go wrong. We succeed in achieving some of the goals that we set. We seem to be on a roll. Our mind magnifies every thing that we do and makes it appear great and grand. It appears that nothing can stop us. We feel extremely proud of ourselves. We also look down at the difficulties others are having and wonder why they are not getting it right. We feel pretty cocky.

The truth is neither of this real. We are neither losers, nor are we really superior. This is simply an illusion that our ego creates. But at these times we feel that this reality. Actually nothing can be farther from the truth.

We are still the same person we were.

We really have to wary of this illusion that the ego creates. During times when things go wrong we have realize that there is no finality in this failure. Life is a marathon and we can pick ourselves up and move ahead slowly. Similarly just because the going is good does not make you superior. We need to have the humility to realize that the success is temporary and we need to move on. We can revel in the success for some time but we should not let it get into our head.

During these times of success and failure we need to step back and look at ourselves. We should neither feel crushed because of defeat nor be arrogant because we succeeded where others did not. We must realize that these are stages in life.

Moreover it will help if we have a good circle of friends who can give us a honest opinion.

So there is no need to feel inferior or superior to others. Realize that the image that you see of yourself is the creation of the ego and is not real.

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Tips to boost your self-esteem

There are times in our life when we are filled with self-doubt. Our self-esteem may be at an all time low. There are times we may feel like an imposter? Our confidence, may be low or ebbing If you have experienced any of these, take heart, you have a lot of com-pany. Here are 4 tips that will help to boost your sagging esteem.

Take the bull by the horns: You may feel that you are inferior to your colleagues at work or your classmates in school or college. If you do, the first thing you need to do is to stop beating yourself up. Rather step back, and take a hard look at your short comings. Think on what skills that you will need to acquire to be more conversant in doing the things that you need to do. Get cracking on learning these skills rather than simply feel-ing lousy and complaining to yourself. Take proactive steps in honing the skills that you lack. Once you start to learn the necessary skills you will be able to communicate better which will give a major boost to your esteem.

Build your esteem bit by bit: Confidence and esteem are like an account in a bank., We need to constantly add to our fund of esteem. We need to keep doing small things and building our self esteem bit by bit. We must not forget to pat ourselves for every success, however small it may be. So while you may not be the best in a certain area you will de-finitely be extremely fluent in other areas. Make sure that you give yourself adequate credit for all the minor or major achievements, This is extremely important. Esteem needs to be built brick by brick.

You are not who you think you are: Sometimes we tend to look down at ourselves more critically than needed. We many feel that we are not really as smart or as clever as some of our friends, peers or colleagues. But the truth is that our opinions about ourselves many not be correct. As they say “Who we think we are, who others think we are and who we really are, are in reality completely different. So even though you may feel that you are not all that clever , you may be much better than a whole lot of people you deal with. That may be one of the reasons why you are still doing what you are doing.

Don’t confuse familiarity with intelligence: Sometimes we are in total awe with the flu-ency with which our friends or colleagues are able to juggle with concepts and words. You may find yourself coming up short in communication. Quite often people confuse familiarity with intelligence. Familiarity is just knowledge and the able to articulate ideas on this knowledge is not the same as intelligence. A person who knows something is not necessarily intelligent. Intelligence and knowledge are 2 different things. So rather than being awed and feeling inferior you need to start to get familiar with subject. It is quite likely that you are intelligent and really only lack familiarity and pretty soon you will feel comfortable with the subject.

So get started now. Learn the necessary skills. Add to your fund of confidence. Under-stand fully how you really stack up with others, not just in your own eyes, but through the eyes of others and finally don’t confuse familiarity with intelligence.

Build your esteem. Stand tall and don’t compromise on yourself. You are all that you got!