Dr. Daniel Siegel in his book mindsight talks about the need to have mindsight or an awareness of the activities of our mind. He suggests that we need to understand our SIFT and (Sensations, Images, Feelings and Thoughts) while encountering difficult emotions. One particular concept in his book is the concept of using maps in knowing ourselves, our dear ones or people at large.
In the book he discusses what he calls Me-map, You-map and Us-map. So what are these maps?
Me-map: Most of us are so wrapped in ourselves that we have what I would like to refer as I-map. We are the center of the universe. We are the nucleus behind all worldly activity. Our problems consume us completely. What is more important is that we have what is termed as Me-map. We need to understand ourselves. We need to be aware of our sensations, images, thoughts and feeling (SIFT) in each every encounter that we have. We have to understand ourselves.
You-map: Our daily lives are made of interactions with our spouses, our children, relatives and colleagues. But we usually run into rough weather in our relations. Why does this happen? This because with everybody we create a he-map or she-map. We look at them objectively. When our spouse or friends relate their problems or source of joy to us we mentally look at it objectively. What is really needed is that we create a You-map. We need to be able to view the problem or source of joy through their eyes and mind. We must be able to visualize what they are going through and what they are experiencing. For this we need to be good at creating You-maps
Us-maps: Very few in this world create Us-maps. When we hear of poverty or see pain we usually create a They-map. We must feel both empathy and sympathy for this. We need to create Us-maps. We must feel compassion for the suffering and pain of others. We must be able to visualize what the under-privileged are going through. We need to feel compassion (Do read Dr. Alex Lickerman’s post: What compassion is?). We need to create Us-maps.
Hence to improve the quality of our daily lives we need to become adept in creating Me-maps, You-maps and Us-maps.